The Suit & The Jean Queen

The Suit is what I planned to call my new guy... Note the past tense used - about a minute ago I called him to end someting that wasn't happening.
But here's a little about The Suit, The Jean Queen, what could have been and why I'm a little sad.

I planned on calling him The Suit, because he was just so serious, proper, fancy and he wore suits to work each day. And I'm the Jean Queen, layed back, giggly, and down to earth and I wear jeans to work each day :)
I loved that we were such opposites I think it made us good for each other. But we knew each other for quite a while and there was so much missing. I recently informed him of all I thought about that - he agreed and we both agreed to work on it.

Our kinky sides - it was a little scary to me that we already knew this about each other - it was good, but overwhelming. One of my last post's - Black on White should give you all a glimpse into what he was interested in and in what he got me interested in. But he wanted to move forward with this quite quickly, I wanted to build something stronger between us. We decided to move forward with both.

He's truly an alpha male in all respects. He decided where we ate, he had impecable taste, and I loved going to all these amazing restaurants; granted I usually had no idea what I was reading on the menu - but he'd show me... and I loved that. I loved having this feeling of being taken care of. We had fun together, I think I was a little too fiesty and sarcastic for him, but then again sometimes he was too serious for me.
I did something a little corny while dating him - on each date I always kept something. A cork from the bottle of wine on our first date, a matchbook from the restaurant, a playbook from a broadway show... a little part of me thought this was the man I was going to end up with and these were little things that made me smile to think I would look back on. I was proud to be with him, I couldn't wait to introduce him to my family and to meet his. I thought I found what I was looking for - a man, a real man who was successful and down to earth, respectful, trustworthy, honest, and kinky.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

How are you Joey?"
"I've had better days"

It was recently brought to my attention that I've had better days is my usual response lately... hell I've had better months!
I'm not sure what has brought me down - but life is boring, monotonous, - day in day out...
No more evenings at Morgan’s where I just knew my pussy would be getting pounded. No more trips to CT where I'd be used and made to feel so absolutely submissive. Barely any more rendezvous with BFWB where we were just so fucking in sync with each other.

What is going on here?

CT is out of the picture - I'm done. I saw the man in a broken state, and I lost all respect for him. I could never proudly kneel on my knees before him nor offer my holes for his use. He was desperate, nervous, cold, and broken. I can think back to that moment and instantly I'm turned off, he was pathetic.

Morgan and I are trying to work this out. He finally told me the words I longed to hear, the words I longed for him to feel for so long now.
He loves me.
But does this come at a point that's just too late? I'm not sure - I love him as well, but he's 200 miles away and he doesn't want a LDR (long distance relationship). So I asked him - how can you love me and be ok with the fact that I'm seeing someone else. He said it was because it would be unfair of him to ask me not to be with anyone else.
Heh, I guess if the two of us are suppose to be together it'll work out... There's so much more to this to explain... but too much. Meanwhile he recently told me he's afraid of losing me. Does this mean he now wants a LDR and if so, maybe it's too late for that as well (on my part).

BFWB and I have bad, bad, bad schedules and that's pretty much the only reason we don't see more of each other.

My new guy... I'm still working on a name for him for the blog... for now I'll just tell you that things are moving so freaking slowly. I have more on him to come - another post.

Besides this lackluster sex life, life itself seems so very boring. Things seem to be heading in the wrong direction and I'm just wallowing in the wrongness of it all. I'm trying to fix some of it - but other obstacles seem to be out of my control.
But something I've learned is that when life gets boring, or it seems as though I'm stuck in a rut... something wicked this way comes.