Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The Repressed Cock

The brain is an amazing machine...

I ran into someone one of these past afternoons. Seeing him practically stopped me in my tracks. I haven't seen him for a number of years now. Matter of fact, seeing him did stop me in my tracks; I paused for a few seconds as he stood a few feet away smiling at me. I pushed myself to continue walking over to him (he was standing next to the person I was actually there to speak with). In my mind I could only think; play it cool, breath, don't trip and fall - he's watching you.
As I approached him...
"Joey, well look at you, girl you are lookin' good! Damn you haven't changed a bit, still as sexy as you always were. What are you up to?" As I thanked him, smiled, (prolly blushed too) and filled him in on where I've been - suddenly bits of memories flooded my head...

We were in a car, we were bullshitting and flirting. He reached over, and kissed me. I remember his thick full lips softly kissing me, yet each kiss increasingly became stronger. His hand against my cheek, powerful yet tender....

I reply, and then ask him what he's been up to. "I'm just hanging out; still have my apartment in (so-and-so). I haven't kept in touch with..."

We had been working at the restaurant that night, we went out after our shifts often but this night was different. This night we ended up alone (usually most of the staff went out together). I remember that I had been the one driving (we were now pulled over and parked somewhere). As he was kissing me I remember thinking - don't do this, don't become another conquest of his. He was adorable and hot all wrapped up in one. He was something of a "player" I just wasn't sure how much of one. I didn't want to be "that girl" in the restaurant. Restaurants are breeding grounds for hooking-up (I hate that term). Yet, I mostly avoided that; I flirted to no end, teased and had my occasional hook-up, but I was really just one of the guys. Anyhow, like I said I didn't want to be "that girl" at the restaurant, all the girls there loved Rock. As we were kissing, it occurred to me that Rock didn't hook up with the restaurant girls, Rock and I were friends first, and therefore I knew. Girls fell for him left & right; standing at 6 feet tall, a beautiful shade of brown skin, a smile paired with dimples that could make your knees weak, light green eyes, perfect teeth, and a personality that was sweet, witty, funny, confident and caring (as I try to describe it...). How could they not fall for him?! He could have any one of them and sometimes he did - why not? - He was young and didn't want to be tied down.
He continued kissing me as I overanalyzed the whole situation (something I still do) and I realized I wouldn't exactly be another conquest in regards to the restaurant. I would be the one - the one who got him - HA!
I still worried though; here I was this (mostly) good girl making out with a delicious black guy. I wasn't raised racist at all, matter of fact I had lots of black friends but it wasn't exactly smiled upon should I date one. Again overanalyzing - I knew quite well I wasn't bringing Rock home to meet my 'rents. So, what was I worried about?!...


My reminiscing was interrupted, "So Joey what brings you here?"... I tell Rock I need to go take care of some business. He replies "I'm not going anywhere". I go about with what I have to do, while Rock dilly-dallies around. As I'm talking to the guy I'm there to see, I can't help but steal glances at him while all these memories just keep materializing....

I end up sliding over to the passenger seat, I straddle him; facing him I kiss him deeply, passionately. I never kissed a black guy before, his lips were different, it was fun to suck on his bottom lip. He lifted my shirt up and over my head - I remember him doing it so gently but there was something really "manly" about it. I licked and kissed his neck as he unhooked my bra. Taking it off; he cupped my breast, the moonlight beamed in through the car window, his milk chocolate hand was against my breast. His large rugged hand on my soft white breast - the contrast was beautiful. He saw me looking down, said "What?”. "It's pretty" I replied. He smiled and said "They sure are pretty Joey" I giggled...
He touched, fondled and played, kissed and caressed, sucked then licked. Every bit felt good - very good, and not the -oh he played with my tits *yawn- good. It was more like the -he didn't stop caressing my tits *panty creamer - Good!
Things only got steamier in that car, it was a summer night, we were lightly sweating, kissing, touching, it just didn't stop...

I finish my business there and Rock approaches me, I tell him I'm gonna get going, he insists that we hang out. I giggle at him, and of course he takes that as a decline, in which I then insist I was joking. I give him my number, we both end up being free that night, he tells me he'll call me later, and we'll go get a few drinks and catch up.
I say goodbye and I feel his eyes on me as I walk away...

I'm now on my knees on the floor of the car facing the front seat, his legs are on either side of me and his (very big- no joke here folks!) black cock is in front of me. Taking it my mouth, his hands are immediately on my head and in my hair. He waits a bit, while I familiarize my mouth with his cock. He lets me take my time, licking it, taking it all in deep and sucking the length of it. Then slowly and might I add - very smoothly, he starts talking dirty to me. "That's it Joey, suck my cock"... then he's quiet.
A few minutes later, "Mmm... feels good".... again quiet.
He then lets out in a whispery tone "yea, mmmph.. oh yea" and I feel his hands grip my hair tighter... quiet..
"Yea baby, suck my black cock"
Seconds later... "Damn your good, keep that cock in your mouth" as he pushes my head further down. His tone became increasingly more authoritative and I liked it - a lot. ( Let’s remember I hadn't yet realized I was attracted to alpha men)
For the remainder of the blowjob (how proper did I just make that sound?!) he continued to be this authoritative kinda guy, and I didn't have a problem with it, I just sorta - fell into place.

On my way home, I couldn't stop replaying all those memories. They came back to me SO crystal clear, as if it happened yesterday. I ended up falling asleep that night, falling asleep before Rock had called. I woke the next morning to a missed call - Rock - no voicemail and he never called back again... I'm sure we'll run into each other again sometime.
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If you asked me the day before I ran into Rock if I had ever been with a black guy sexually, I would have replied no. Not because I'm lying about it, but because this was all very repressed. I'm not sure why I had repressed that night with Rock, as I think about it all more and more I can't figure it out. It seems to me that I truly felt as though I really did something I shouldn't have – therefore my brain locked it away in my subconscious.

And here in present day, who knows? Maybe I’ll go ahead and kiss a black man, suck his cock, and better yet I might just go for the full on sexual experience ;)