Friday, September 04, 2009

In times like these

It's about to happen, I can feel it. I'm about to take a job that will put me back into that miserable place I had been in about 4-5 years ago.

I had vowed never, NEVER, to work for a company like that one again. I hated it with all I had in me. As I sat in the interview, talking and asking questions, the misery crept up slowly into my body. Bad enough the position would be a HUGE step backwards, to make matters worse there seems to be no upward mobility. The owners, they were identical to whom I had worked for yet about 30 years younger. But, we're in a recession, I'm mostly unemployed, what can I do? Can I really say no to a job offer? I want to cry - I have a feeling of disgust deep in me, I know I'll have to take this job.

As most of you know (if any of you are still checking in), this blog isn't about my job, it's about my sexual adventures and love life. Yet life gets thrown at you and I need to vent! Meanwhile, come to think of it I had started blogging when I worked at that first miserable job, I guess something good may come out of this....

Meanwhile, my life has drastically changed since my last post. In December, with thousands of other people, I was layed off. It had been a complete surprise for me and a very heartbreaking one. My career was my life, I breathed it, I loved it to no end. I suffered immensely (and still do) from the loss of my career, not only monetarily yet mentally as well. Almost every night I dreamt (and still do) of my office, my co-workers, I had dreams (and still do) of my workday! Each morning I awoke I had wished this was all one bad dream... but it wasn't. I was stuck at home, so I began my job hunt immediately.
Its been 10 months now, I've applied to over 50 positions, the number of interviews I've had could be counted on one hand - Pathetic.
I have good weeks and bad ones. Bad ones where I second guess myself and just how good I am at what I do. But overall I stay pretty positive, I know somethings gotta give - and it will - eventually.

Much more has changed in my life; With the loss of my career I've obtained, 2 new jobs (jobs as in the sense a-way-to-pay-rent), and something else, something very special. A boyfriend, not just a boyfriend... he's an amazingly wonderful man.

There's much more to write about and hopefully I will. Yet, no promises here. I haven't been inspired to write for so long now... We shall see.


Anonymous CInnanmon Girl said...

Hey Joey, I was so happy to see a new post from you! Sucks that you were laid off..but chin up girl..the right opportunity will come along. I hope you find inspiration to write more often!

9/06/2009 6:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He is a very lucky man

12/04/2009 11:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Even though this blog was written a while ago, I can absolutely relate. I was interviewed twice and hired VERY quickly by an ad agency with remarkably little information passed along about what I was to do.

The first day in the place I felt a little ill inside, I was stationed at a cubicle and my passive aggressive co workers were in a square formation around me. This position was not a step back for me, or it didn't seem so at the outset. Money and title, check, opportunity for future growth check. The cubicle situation, not so good. I have not worked in a cubicle since the very beginning of my career. It rubbed me the wrong way. Aside from a complete lack of privacy it just felt awkward to be so physically close to the angry bees I was supposed to be managing.

What I had no way to know that the corporate culture would throw me under the bus in a month's time. I realized that I wanted to change the direction of the dept. a thing I was informed I'd been hired to do. Getting it done was another thing. The passive and getting more aggressive co workers I dealt with daily were holding on tight to the way things had always been. Even as they complained bitterly about such.

It's over now, I have a short window to pull it together and find a position I'm more suited for, but all in all it was a painful and humbling experience. Business is rough right now, and I don;'t see it changing anytime soon. One needs to wear their armor tightly, do a lot and say very little. I think my biggest error was taking about what I wanted to change. These kinds of thoughts are best shared with one's boss, or not at all.

I hope I have learned a thing or two in ad agency hell, and I pray for the strength to not repeat the mistakes I made at Company X.

Good luck, you're going to make it all work.


4/25/2010 7:34 PM  
Anonymous Bad Boy Vibrator said...

Hey Bad Boy Vibrator, I was so happy to see a new post from you! Sucks that you were laid off..but chin up girl..the right opportunity will come along. I hope you find inspiration to write more often!
Thanks for post..

10/13/2011 4:02 AM  

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