Thursday, March 02, 2006

Something Wicked This Way Comes

How are you Joey?"
"I've had better days"

It was recently brought to my attention that I've had better days is my usual response lately... hell I've had better months!
I'm not sure what has brought me down - but life is boring, monotonous, - day in day out...
No more evenings at Morgan’s where I just knew my pussy would be getting pounded. No more trips to CT where I'd be used and made to feel so absolutely submissive. Barely any more rendezvous with BFWB where we were just so fucking in sync with each other.

What is going on here?

CT is out of the picture - I'm done. I saw the man in a broken state, and I lost all respect for him. I could never proudly kneel on my knees before him nor offer my holes for his use. He was desperate, nervous, cold, and broken. I can think back to that moment and instantly I'm turned off, he was pathetic.

Morgan and I are trying to work this out. He finally told me the words I longed to hear, the words I longed for him to feel for so long now.
He loves me.
But does this come at a point that's just too late? I'm not sure - I love him as well, but he's 200 miles away and he doesn't want a LDR (long distance relationship). So I asked him - how can you love me and be ok with the fact that I'm seeing someone else. He said it was because it would be unfair of him to ask me not to be with anyone else.
Heh, I guess if the two of us are suppose to be together it'll work out... There's so much more to this to explain... but too much. Meanwhile he recently told me he's afraid of losing me. Does this mean he now wants a LDR and if so, maybe it's too late for that as well (on my part).

BFWB and I have bad, bad, bad schedules and that's pretty much the only reason we don't see more of each other.

My new guy... I'm still working on a name for him for the blog... for now I'll just tell you that things are moving so freaking slowly. I have more on him to come - another post.

Besides this lackluster sex life, life itself seems so very boring. Things seem to be heading in the wrong direction and I'm just wallowing in the wrongness of it all. I'm trying to fix some of it - but other obstacles seem to be out of my control.
But something I've learned is that when life gets boring, or it seems as though I'm stuck in a rut... something wicked this way comes.


Blogger Tess said...

Hang out with me sometime, Joey. Somehow my life is never boring.

Good to have this snow, it allowed me to catch up with your posts.

Good luck wth Morgan and the new guy.

3/02/2006 1:31 PM  
Blogger kelly said...

If you don't survive seeing someone in a broken state, then don't ever get married. For better or worse is a promise that there will be both.


3/04/2006 12:00 PM  
Blogger Aragorn said...

Thanks for the update, started to loose track of the various guys ... ;-). Sorry life is boring for you. Look at this way, more time to blog ;-) Hugs - A

3/04/2006 4:58 PM  
Blogger Arashi-KIshu said...

Oh gosh Joey, something will kick you outta that rut. I know something will!

3/04/2006 10:37 PM  
Blogger Oswald Croll said...

I just pictured you with little devil horns on......and not much more. I'm disgusting.....I know. Now I have to go run the water in the bathroom for a long time.

3/07/2006 4:03 PM  

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