Monday, August 29, 2005

Danny Zuko

To be honest - nothing really new over here. Last week Morgan and I has some sweet lovin' - but I'm angry/upset with him, so it's sort of too painful to post right now.
I'm unsure of what I should do with Morgan...
I'm not even sure if there is anything that can be done besides taking it day-by-day, by-day-by-day.

Only a few weeks ago Morgan and I decided to be "exclusive" - (yay for us!). We have no title - no "boyfriend", no "girlfriend", no "couple", no "dating" no "we" to other people. But we are exclusive - meaning no others.
There are some reasons for the no title bit - which is much too much to go into - but we are both very happy and excited with our decision!

Morgan will be making some important decisions in the coming months. These decisions are about and for him - but they can and will most likely affect me as well.

Morgan has been reminding me of Danny Zuko lately - yes the Danny Zuko character from the movie/musical Grease.

When we are together, Morgan will talk to be about these decisions - there's actually one big gynormous decision that I'm going to focus on. - He needs to move, move out of the wretched place he currently lives in.
He'll tell me his options, his feelings, and how he's altogether quite stressed about it. All-in-all everything we talk about - everything he tells me makes sense and is somewhat fair - the good and the bad (the bad being what I don't want to hear - either way it's realistic).
BUT - When we are on the phone having a quick chat (we don't have long conversations) he'll say something really stupid and un-thoughtful about the Big Decision and I'll get upset, I wont' show it to him. When the phone hangs up, I'll be sad.
Now, we've all learned that boys do this - they say and act stupidly when hanging out with the T-birds (Grease reference again for the international readers). But it bothers me so, because he's not showing off in front of his friends, he's not with them - so what the hell is he doing - showing off in front of himself. Or just so damn excited, and acting on instinct that he calls to tell me whatever and doesn’t think about how I’ll take it??!!!! Or is he testing me to see my reaction - which as written above - I somewhat hide from him. But at the same time he doesn't need to test me for my reaction - he knows damn well how I feel about it all - What the FUCK is his deal?!


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