Welcome to NYC

I never ever post stuff like this, but I just couldn't help myself.

First off this suit guy is great!:

Suit: Attention tourists. It is now just after 5PM, and unlike you, some of us had to work today and would like to fucking get home. Please keep moving and do not just fucking stop in the middle of the sidewalk. This has been a public service announcement.
--Overheard on 43rd & 7th

The suit guy and I would make a Bad-Ass Team in the streets of New York City. I love yelling at the tourists who don't move their fanny-bag wearing selves out of my way - it's move it or lose it baby - Welcome to NYC!

Now we move on to the NYC transit system - boy they sure do have a sense of humor:

Conductor: Next time, you lose your hands!
--Overheard on N train
(For all those who don't get this, someone tried catching the train and holding the doors open with his hands, a big no-no!)

The train stops in the tunnel, and the conductor announces: Ladies and gentlemen! We are momentarily held between the stations. We will be moving shortly. Meanwhile, sit back, relax, and enjoy the scenery.
--Overheard on A train

Driver: Welcome aboard the M86 cross-town bus. I apologize for the delay today; we will be moving momentarily. If you are carrying a grudge from school, or work, or home, please do not take it out on me. I promise you, we will be moving momentarily.
--Overheard M86 bus

Conductor: Get all your possessions, including your body, inside the doors, if you want the train to move. It's that simple.
--Overheard S train

And then again Conductors are awesome people:

Conductor: Bear with us folks, the last 5 cars on the train have no AC, yes we know it's sucks, we are well aware it's about 96 degrees and disgustingly humid, my hair frizzed up to ladies. But don't forget we are right there with ya feeling the pain.
--Overheard by yours truly

It was a Subway Series in NYC, and throughout the ride, the conductor would update the train on the score!
--Overheard by yours truly

Conductor: Good evening folks, we've all had the worst day of our lives it was hell. Just sit back tight, try to relax, and thank g-d that you are going home today. Let’s get this train moving and get everyone home.
--Overheard by yours truly on 9/11/01

I found the first few "Overheard's" on a great site! Please check it out under my "Clickies" section - Overheard in NYC.