Friday, March 18, 2005

Little Girl, Little Girl

Masturbation; mas·tur·ba·tion
Pronunciation: "mas-t&r-'bA-sh&n
Function: noun: erotic stimulation especially of one's own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies.

I started masturbating when I was very, very young; the earliest I could remember is maybe three years old. I had this stuffed animal that I would put under me, then I would rub my body into it, I didn't use my hands I would just grind my pelvis, and it felt so very good. At some point during this I would hold my breath and keep grinding till this amazing feeling took over my body... hence my first orgasm. I would do this almost every night, yet I knew I couldn't tell anyone for some reason I just knew not to ever let my parents catch me doing this. It's not like my mom told me not to touch myself or anything, she never said that... but I just knew to be careful.

As I got older I would start imagining stories and plots...
There was a man who would come into my bedroom, he would touch me, I didn't like it but I had to let him do it because I was scared of him... or the one I mostly thought of...I would be in a room on a table with men around me watching me masturbate, sometimes the men were right there in the room, sometimes they were behind a glass wall and if that was the case there was a man right there in the room with me -either standing over me or sitting in a chair. He wouldn't touch me but he would tell me "Do not stop". I always thought about men watching me and making me perform for them. I have absolutely no idea where I would have even gotten something like this I must have been about 5ish when I started having these fantasies... What five year old thinks about being in a room surrounded by men and masturbating for their pleasure?!

I loved to watch shows with helpless women who got tied up... I even started playing games with my siblings where someone was the "bad guy" others would be his crew, a few good guys and then the "victim" who was tied up, which would mostly be played by me.

In my late teens when I started dating and really "fooling around" with guys I would never masturbate in front of them. To date I really don't do it, I'm very uncomfortable masturbating in front of a man. My last boyfriend would take my hand guide it to my pussy and instruct me to do it, at first he wouldn't watch he would just lay next to me but later on he would start to watch. I still hated doing it, but I would do it for him because he enjoyed it... just like in my 5 yr. old fantasies.


Anonymous Ash said...

That isn't really uncommon. Most girls start around 3-6 and most guys start somewhere around 10-12 though I've heard many say they started at 3 or 4. You are just one of few who will admit to it.

4/19/2005 4:12 PM  
Blogger Friendly Daddy said...

I finally started reading and as I recall, I started young as well. It seems as though we have this in common as well.

5/19/2005 10:12 AM  
Anonymous Chrissie said...

You sound a LOT like me, I'm reading all these posts and how you describe yourself as a kid and in your teens sounds EXACTLY like me. I started masturbating around 3 and making out and kissing guys around 4. I remember this boy, we'd play "Space". We would be under the covers, making out and I'd have him rub my vagina and suck on my nipples -- mind you, I was 4 years old. I'm eighteen now and surprisingly, I'm still a virgin.

3/14/2009 8:52 AM  

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