Friday, September 04, 2009

In times like these

It's about to happen, I can feel it. I'm about to take a job that will put me back into that miserable place I had been in about 4-5 years ago.

I had vowed never, NEVER, to work for a company like that one again. I hated it with all I had in me. As I sat in the interview, talking and asking questions, the misery crept up slowly into my body. Bad enough the position would be a HUGE step backwards, to make matters worse there seems to be no upward mobility. The owners, they were identical to whom I had worked for yet about 30 years younger. But, we're in a recession, I'm mostly unemployed, what can I do? Can I really say no to a job offer? I want to cry - I have a feeling of disgust deep in me, I know I'll have to take this job.

As most of you know (if any of you are still checking in), this blog isn't about my job, it's about my sexual adventures and love life. Yet life gets thrown at you and I need to vent! Meanwhile, come to think of it I had started blogging when I worked at that first miserable job, I guess something good may come out of this....

Meanwhile, my life has drastically changed since my last post. In December, with thousands of other people, I was layed off. It had been a complete surprise for me and a very heartbreaking one. My career was my life, I breathed it, I loved it to no end. I suffered immensely (and still do) from the loss of my career, not only monetarily yet mentally as well. Almost every night I dreamt (and still do) of my office, my co-workers, I had dreams (and still do) of my workday! Each morning I awoke I had wished this was all one bad dream... but it wasn't. I was stuck at home, so I began my job hunt immediately.
Its been 10 months now, I've applied to over 50 positions, the number of interviews I've had could be counted on one hand - Pathetic.
I have good weeks and bad ones. Bad ones where I second guess myself and just how good I am at what I do. But overall I stay pretty positive, I know somethings gotta give - and it will - eventually.

Much more has changed in my life; With the loss of my career I've obtained, 2 new jobs (jobs as in the sense a-way-to-pay-rent), and something else, something very special. A boyfriend, not just a boyfriend... he's an amazingly wonderful man.

There's much more to write about and hopefully I will. Yet, no promises here. I haven't been inspired to write for so long now... We shall see.